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| Psst! The secret is what lies below, yo. |
Apparently the answer to this question is that you build a good portion of it underground, and in the process turning your lovely McMansion into what we are now calling a McBunker. Something that, due to the societal pressures, politics and longstanding community vision of the residents of Sierra Madre, could very well become the new wave in development for The Foothill Village.
In other words, we're driving McMansions underground.
And wouldn't you know it, the creator of this entirely new classification of Sierra Madre "wonderground wickiup" comes from the very famous architect who has been working so hard on behalf of the CETT Set, Adele Chang. AKA "The Queen of Cornices." Could such a historic moment ever be made in any other way?
So how is it that Sierra Madre has become the inspiration for the McBunker? And what is a McBunker, anyway? For the insight we need let's go to the Staff Report for Thursday evening's Planning Commission meeting.
Like with any series of events that leads to something groundbreaking (literally), and perhaps even unique, the history is quite complex. The author of the following is Dereck Purificacion, Assistant Planner for Development Services. Here is his tale:
All of that is well and good, and who would not be eager to relive what has become quite a signature chapter in the planning history of Sierra Madre? But what of the McBunker elements? For that we must include the following paragraph.
And that is what CETT and Adele Chang have set out to do. For whatever reason (and honestly I don't quite know how this part works), the portion of any McMansion that you build underground in Sierra Madre does not count towards the total square footage of the house. Only that part above the ground gets calculated into the overall figure. What lies below is, well, a secret I suppose.
Here is what the plan for a McBunker looks like. You might wish to spend a few moments with this because it could very well be the first of its kind anywhere. That plus the beginning of a whole new underground megalopolis here, designed for city that just does not care to see it.
So how do these numbers pencil out? Again we go to the Staff Report for important insight.
So there you go. The part of the house that counts in the HMZ calculation is a relatively modest 3,264 square feet. That is, modest when compared to some of the numbers we had seen previously. Yet, when you add in that off the grid 1,349 square foot portion sunk secretively below, what we are actually talking about here is a rather jumbo 4,613 square foot McWhopper. It's just that you won't be able to see all of it.
Oh, it will still come with 5 bathrooms. That part stays. Always our little five flusher.
Can it be that McBunkers are the future of Sierra Madre? Are we about to become the inspiration for a world first "out of sight, out of mind" underground city? Done so that the illusion of a community standard built upon relatively modest sized housing can continue? Despite current market pressures?
Are we about to become the home of the mansions of the mud? Tombs of excess that only the worms and moles will ever be able to get annoyed over? Or, as one wag put it yesterday, McDungeons?
I guess you'll have to tune into Thursday's Planning Commission meeting to find out.
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