Pasadena Star News: Jab Too Much? Well, Now Urine Luck

Garglers: New cure for MAGAs scared of shots (Pasadena Star Newslink): As those following these strange events will tell you, the MAGA rabbit hole is beyond any conceivable depth. Like all the way to China, out through their atmosphere, beyond the apogee of our happily smiling moon, and on to the distant Oort Cloud. That is, if it even stops there. Nobody knows.

Writing in the staid Republican publication Forbes, Senior Healthcare writer Bruce Y. Lee (probably a RINO) shared this unsettling news:

"Christopher Key, who maintains the 'Vaccine Police' anti-vaxx website, is apparently now touting urine therapy. In this case, urine therapy is not sitting down with a jug of your urine and talking about its feelings. Instead, it’s drinking your own urine, because why not, right? After all, what won’t anti-vaxxers and others pushing different so-called alternative therapies try to convince you to do instead of getting Covid-19 vaccines?"

Apparently in the MAGA world what was once considered scientifically sanctioned norms and mentally acceptable behavior has gone down the drain. As one of my favorite Twitter commentators notes, "Let me get this straight. Republicans call us 'latte liberals' because God forbid someone likes to drink coffee, yet they are now drinking their own urine to 'cure COVID?' I guess GOP now stands for 'Gargling Our Pee.'"

Should you decide to go this route because you want to "own the libs" or something equally important, please wear a mask. Your breath will smell awful and nobody is going to want to share a car with you when riding the Gold Line.

If "urine therapy" strikes you as being distasteful, the Fox News primetime purveyor of all things Covid-quackery, Tucker Carlson, has an alternative remedy you could try. Many in that audience will find this palatable as it already plays an important role in the lives of his primary demographic, physically inactive middle-aged men. This from Salon:

"'Who thought Viagra would save us from the pandemic?'Carlson asked, adding: 'Dr. Marc Siegel may have predicted it,' introducing one of the network's top medical contributors, who listed off a series of claims about the drug's effectiveness as a treatment for pulmonary hypertension and altitude sickness, among other things...Is there anything [Viagra] doesn't cure?'Carlson quipped."

As anyone properly screwed together knows, your chances of death from Covid-19 are exponentially lower when you allow yourself to be properly vaccinated. Certainly by far sunnier percentages than what you'll experience when taking ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, disinfectant, bleach, a "Pfizer Riser," or drinking warm jiggers of mellow yellow.

Of course, you have the liberty to reject medical science and accept the dubious wisdom of imposters like Christopher Key or Tucker Carlson. However, should you do so, remember, as a popular t-shirt design says, "Darwin Smiles." 

Is there such a thing as spiritual quackery? I certainly believe that. History is filled with religious charlatans. Jumping into that fray recently to question the teachings of the Prince of Peace was none other than Donald Trump, Jr. In an article titled "Trump's Heir Preaches Ethic of Jesus Is an Obstacle," the informative Newser site reveals:

"In a political, angrier version of 'nice guys finish last'Donald Trump Jr. told a convention that following the teachings of Jesus has 'gotten us nothing'...'We've been playing T-ball for half a century while they’re playing hardball and cheating, right? We've turned the other cheek,' adding, 'I understand the mentality—but it's gotten us nothing. OK?'"

Junior goes on to suggest that a direct action approach might help MAGAs achieve a satisfaction life has so far denied them. Perhaps like the bloody insurrection that took place at the Capitol last January 6? In The Atlantic writer Peter Wehner affirms that Trump the Lesser believes "the scriptures are essentially a manual for suckers." 

Think about the alternatives being offered. Then pray a little harder.