When Clowns Attack: Matt Gaetz & his Coalition of the Stupid storm impeachment proceedings to 'demand transparency'

Mod: Apparently certain GOPCongress critters have been watching a little too much Animal House lately. With Moscow Matt Gaetz springing for the vodka and Peruvian marching powder.

Matt Gaetz and his Coalition of the Stupid stormed impeachment proceedings to 'demand transparency'— except that's not what it's really about (The Independentlink): It’s a good thing that irony is dead, otherwise Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz would have killed it this morning when he and two dozen Congressional Republicans, including members of the MAGA caucus like Steve King (who’s has a lot of free time since he was kicked off all his committees for his racist comments) and Andy Biggs (who unsuccessfully tried to censure Adam Schiff), stormed the Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility in the basement of the Congressional complex.

Their goal was to “demand transparency”. The irony is that, according to Politico, “more than 45 House Republicans— nearly a quarter of the House GOP conference — already have full access to the depositions via their membership on one of the three committees leading the impeachment inquiry.” Further adding to the irony is that the GOP hasn’t exactly been a bastion of transparency lately. There was Devin’s midnight run. There was the endless obfuscating for the first president since Nixon not to release his tax returns. And there was so much more.

Republicans love to rail against the closed-door policy imposed during this impeachment inquiry, so here’a a note to remember: Since Watergate, impeachment hearings have been held behind closed doors. Clinton’s impeachment was also held behind closed doors. Democrats have not cooked up something new for Trump; this is merely precedent.

Matt Gaetz’s little stunt was never really about transparency, of course. It wasn’t even really about getting in the SCIF with their cellphones and thus compromising its integrity — though perhaps that was an added benefit. And maybe Republicans were happy to delay the testimony of the Pentagon official overseeing Ukraine policy adviser Laura Cooper, since every single day of testimony has brought new allegations of quid pro quo and various other impeachable acts. But that wasn’t the real reason they did it.

No, the real reason Matt Gaetz and “his coalition of the stupid” stormed the SCIF was to try and win the hearts and minds of their Fox News-addicted base. Because impeachment is both a legal and a political process, and these Republicans know that even if Democrats have enough evidence to impeach Trump, getting Republican senators to vote to remove him is all that stands between a President Trump and a President Pence.

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R) Gets Thrown Out of Adults-Only Impeachment Hearing, Avoids Getting a DUI On His Drive Home (Extra Newsfeed link):  Pedestrians beware. Drunk, psychotic, idiot, Matt Gaetz is out there, somewhere… driving around, and he is a menace to us all.

For those of you don’t know who Rep. Matt Gaetz is,… bless you, you must’ve led very charmed lives. The less fortunate of us DO know who Matt Gaetz is. He is the answer to what would happen if Pugsley Addams went into politics and then took peyote,… ALL the peyote… the Earth’s entire supply,… and then hit himself over the head with a mallet until he became astonishingly stupid, idiotic, and unlikable by anybody with human DNA.

He’s also an amateur congressman and a professional drunk driver.

Moscow Matt

Gaetz was arrested for DUI (hence his handsome mug-shot) but his rich and powerful daddy used his influence to make it go away. FUN!

Let’s just all agree that Matt Gaetz is an imbecile of the highest order. I think we can all do that.

Fun Fact! — The other day, serious adults had an impeachment inquiry hearing. A woman, Fiona Hill, Trump’s former adviser to Russia, was there to tell them why we should all be terrified right about now, and how much danger we’re actually in. So, Matt Gaetz lurched into his car, somehow avoided driving the wrong way on the freeway while vomiting, staggered into the hearing and wanted to be a part of it because he’s… special.

Now, I wasn’t there, nor do I know anyone who was there directly, so I can only tell you what I absolutely believe happened just using my own basic logic and the laws of probability.

Matt Gaetz fell into the room, accessed the situation, and loudly announced:

“Whoa! I’m really drunk!”

Then he stood up while attempting to keep his pants from falling down and said, “Is it hot in here? Gosh, I am sooo drunk. I’m here to spy for Trump! But I think I’m gonna throw up. Is Fiona Apple here yet?” 

Then, Adam Schiff, a non-intoxicated adult, helpfully informed Matt Gaetz that:

- Gaetz wasn’t a member of the House Oversight or House Intelligence Committees

- Gaetz is an idiot

- This was a closed-door session that doesn’t have an open bar or a place to throw up in.

Mod: More on this clown at the link.


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